Whitbeck’s famous chili

From Christoph Whitbeck:

I make this for the chili cook-off at school. I haven’t won yet, but Ms. Carmen is like a really good cook and she always wins so it’s not really a fair assessment. It has won “spiciest” once though. It’s good stuff.

Hard to get, and optional: Homemade hot sauce I get from a friend who makes it. I can look into this, or maybe you have a friend, or a favorite hot sauce. Peppery flavors best – habañero, jalapeño, Cholula is good. (Frank’s in a pinch, never fuckin Sriracha) also this is added optionally at the end, but I wanted to include all the details of how I do it.

Easy to get: everything else. Wait are peppers in season? Idk they always have them.

U need:

  • 4 glugs/3 tbsp Canola/rapeseed oil (probably any oil will do here. I use canola.)
  • 1 big sweet yellow or regular white onion. (like too big for a 5 year old to hold with only one hand. The biggest one you can find. Or 2 smaller ones that would roughly total the same volume, but then it feels like more work chopping up 2 onions)
  • 1 28oz can of diced tomatoes (or diced tomatoes with medium spicy peppers they sometimes have at stop & shop)
  • 1 habañero pepper
  • 1 jalapeño pepper
  • 1 red bell pepper
  • 1 yellow bell pepper
  • 1 green bell pepper
  • 1 orange bell pepper (all bell peppers negotiable, e.g. if your child hates green ones, use an extra orange one)
  • 1 15oz can dark red kidney beans
  • 1 15oz can light red kidney beans
  • 2 15oz cans black beans
  • 1 15oz can sweet whole kernel corn
  • 1 packet store brand “hot chili seasoning” & 1 packet brand name “medium chili seasoning” I think I usually get old El Paso. It’s mostly important to me that the packets are different, and you may disagree, but this is my recipe so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

For serving:

  • Tostitos scoops chips (so you get more chili than chip)
  • Adrian’s hot sauce (or your favorite hot sauce)
  • Cheese (I imagine you, lieva, have an ideal cheese for this chili. I’d say some shredded sharp white cheddar, and I’d get a pound of it but it’s up to you – I serve with cheese on the side because of vegans)
  • Fancy bowls?
  • Oh I guess you could put it on rice? I don’t, but if you want to, make rice while you do this. I don’t know how much. The rice is not part of my recipe.

Pre-dicing is not how I make this recipe.

If you want to, pre-dice:

  • The onion into 1 cm³ pieces
  • The hot peppers into the tiniest pieces possible (is this called mincing? Don’t remove the seeds)
  • The bell peppers into 1″ x .5″ or smaller pieces (do remove the seeds)

And while you’re at it why not preopen all the cans (except the corn) & drain the liquid from the beans (don’t drain the tomatoes) – again, I dice & can-open as I go, but then you can feel like you’re on a cooking show once you really get started.

Put a crock pot ready for later too.

Dice the biggest sweet yellow or white onion you can find into 1 cm³ bits. Get rid of the skin paper & the nasty ends.

Biggest pot goes on the stove on high (I think mine is a 3 gallon? Maybe? Like the big soup pot mom used to use. I mean it literally is that one but you aren’t here so use one like it.

Toss in 4 glugs of canola oil, about 3 tbsp.
Toss the onion in that oil when it gets hot.
Pretty much immediately turn down the heat to med/med-low try not to burn the onion.

Swirl em around, get em all greasy, use a rubber spatula or a wooden spoon to just unstick the stuck ones.

Add a 28 oz can of diced tomatoes or tomatoes with peppers (undrained).

Add a minced habañero and a diced jalapeño (keep all seeds!)

Stir intermittently until it is a little bubbling. Simmering I think. Once you find the heat that simmers the tomatoes, leave it there until the end. If it boils too hard & fast, and you’re not ready to add an ingredient, turn it down. Usually the ingredient adding takes it down a notch from boiling to simmering. That’s where you want to be.

Stir in 2 different “chili spice” packets.

Add 4 diced bell peppers of different colors (red, orange, yellow, green – remove the seeds) Stir til mixed.

Add 4 drained cans of beans. (1 dark red kidneys, 1 light red kidneys, 2 black beans – all drained) Stir it until it is as homogenous as a wooden spoon gets it. It should be colorful and smelling it should make it clear that it’s hot.

Simmer on low heat indefinitely. The longer the better up to probably 18 hours at which point someone will probably have needed the stove, but you can leave this potion mixing for days if u want.

Transfer to a crock pot if the stove is available for less than 3 hours, keep it on low. You can also do this earlier if you like crock pot better than stove.

After 3 hours, or longer if you can, (one hour minimum) and just before it is served, stir in a 15oz can of corn.

Set up serving area with chili, a bowl with a cup of shredded sharp white cheddar, hot sauce, and a family or party size bag of tostitos scoops. (I guess you could also put chives & salsa & sour cream & taco shells & lettuce & rice, but I don’t.)

Enjoy! Vegan award winning chili! Happy birthday! Let me know if u have questions! I love you!

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